Reawakened too late

Appears on:

Sonic degeneracy - Vol. II: Psychotic crescendo

(Full-length, 2024)

Written in may 2015, rewritten in july 2016. Some further reworking on the lyrics done in october 2019.

Trivia

This was the second song I wrote for Rotgod. The initial structure didn't make a whole lot of sense, so it needed some heavy reworking. It was my first attempt at experimenting with the noisy, disturbing, ear-piercing dissonances that would become part of many more Rotgod songs to come.

Lyrics are about a recurring situation in my life: finding myself stuck without knowing what to do, always second-guessing myself and regretting previous choices. Despite some slightly cliché lines (here it is, I'm doing it again -_- ), I think these lyrics carry the message in a fascinating way.

Lyrics

Temptation and confusion

Make my drift away from the safe path

The seed of foolish utopia

Infects my brain with self-delusion

Deceived by self-confidence

And determination

I can't see, I can't think

But deep inside I know the truth

By going on through any of these tracks

What I'll achieve will be nothing in the end

The hellish chains around my neck

Guiding me through unsavory choices

While instincts collide, my own freedom dies

Drowning in a sea of multiple lies

I've been through the black hole and I can't be the same again

My personality torn within

By looking at myself through a surreal mirror

Smiling disturbingly back at me

The shining star from deep down in hell

The surrogates that became alive themselves

A titanic attempt where everything falls down

Everything crashes down to the ground

Reawakened too late and no one's around

Everyone has left me behind

The footprints that stand right behind me

They just show an erratic track

No goals, no achievements, only regrets

I should have never gone all this far

Always deranged, always corrupt

Without control, just a weak puppet

The main path is the hardest one

But the other one just makes things worse

I never wanted to see what to do

But deep inside I already knew

No signs for the future, no gifts from the past

Nothing can happen, nothing can last

Utopian purity infected and twisted

No chance to reach it, no chance to live it

Paranoia and rivalry

Anyone could be my enemy

Ever-growing idiosincrasy

A progressive breakdown of my own sanity

It's too late

Everything's lost

No turning back

Forward without motion

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