MeTaL iS dUmB (aNd I'm So SmArT)

Appears on:

Sonic degeneracy - Vol. II: Psychotic crescendo

(Full-length, 2024)

Written in january 2017, lyrics completely rewritten during summer 2020.

Trivia

Originally written with some godawful embarrassing lyrics about... well, I'm not telling ya. I saved the song last minute before starting to mix the album, by rewriting the lyrics and re-recording my vocals, turning this lyrical trainwreck into a jab at pretentious pseudo-metalheads (progsnobs, hipsters etc.) who always feel the need to distance themselves from basic metal/punk and be seen as "open-minded" music experts who possess """objective""" musical knowledge.

The chorus features Alvin and the Chipmunks on vocals, in the role of the pretentious asshole :)

Lyrics

You want to get into metal

Because it makes you look cool

You're a pretentious sack of shit

Who needs to feel superior

Metal's deep and artistic, man

It takes study and talent

Not like that commercial shit

Those normies listen to

So you discover metal

And you find out the truth

It's too loud, bestial, angry and noisy

For your high I.Q.

Metalheads are dumb and close-minded

But you've found something better

With prog, indie and avant-garde

You're surely gonna show 'em

"Metal's dumb, metal's dumb

Metal's dumb and I'm so smart

I'm the only one who understands music

Please give me some attention

If there's no technique

Then it fucking sucks

If there is no theory

Then it's amateur shit

Music's a noble art

You punks are ruining it

Music can be objectively judged

Taste is meaningless"

So now you're "open-minded"

You "listen to all music"

But only if it rewards your sense

Of superiority

You're either a boring progsnob

Or a smug fuckin' hipster

And you can't shut da fuck up

About metal and its fans

You're still ashamed of being

Associated with them

So you're in the constant need

To put 'em down and mock them

And now that you hate metal

The only metal you listen to

Is wanky prog, blackgaze, avant-garde

"Metal for the thinking man"

"Metal's dumb, metal's dumb

Metal's dumb and I'm so smart

I can't waste my high I.Q. on bands

Who play metal for the mere love of it

Metal is limited

It needs to be ennobled

Metalheads are jackasses

They need to be educated

Metal has no depth

Nor any artistic sense

It's our duty to improve it

By turning it into hipster shit"

"Your music all sounds the same! Why don't you just throw in some hyper-technical solo to show at least some instrumental skills?"

*burps and farts*

"What about some indie or shoegaze influences? It would sound so deep, sensitive and meaningful..."

*more burps and farts*

"What about some avant-garde? To hell with all these riffs and this Iron Maiden bullshit: just play some random weird chord, it will sound so different and new!"

*more burps and farts*

"You guys are so stupid and arrogant! You don't understand the value of true art like I do! True art transcends all boundaries and all subjective taste, and tells us universal messages of kindness, compassion, spirituality and everything beyond our senses and our ego!"

*more burps and farts*

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